As a previous psychology student, I took psych 100 last semester with Mudd, this weeks reading in our text book was a refresher from what I previously learned. There are many things I find interesting in this chapter about human development. I learned that all factors in our life, from something as minuscule as the dog tearing up toilet paper to the death of a relative, have an effect on our lives. I found it especially interesting reading about life-cycle forces.
This past week my mom gained temporary physical custody of my cousins two youngest children. This is the third time my mom has been put in this position because of my cousin. As I read through the material I now realize this is because of the young age at which my cousin had children. She mothered her oldest child at 16 and her most recent at 28. As pointed out if Kyndal, my cousin, would have waited until she was in a stable relationship and had a stable career and also was at an age where child rearing was both mutually beneficial for her and the children my family would not be in this position.
Beyond this I wonder about the extent of trust issues her children will have because of their unstable life. As Erikson stated trust is nurtured in children at birth from their parents and builds throughout adulthood based on personal experiences. I would ask Mr Erikson as a family member to these children what is the best thing I can do to help aid in their emotional development to make sure that they are able to grow up as stable adults and break the cycle their mother has created.
After reading this week I wonder if these findings have to do with all children or just children who were brought up in dual parent homes. Do children who were brought up in foster care and adopted families mature and develop at the same rate and pace as a child from a "normal" family or are there delays that have been noticed? I look forward to learning more about the developmental stages of infants and children so I can possibly help my two little cousins grow up and become well rounded, stable and productive adults.
I have to agree with you on this subject. I too have a cousin who is a "man" if that makes a difference, he has 4 children and is only 25. He doesnot have any of them they are all from dofferent moms and the mothers dont have them either. He was brought up in a very unstable home, with the mom in and out of him and his brothers lives. Is this learned behavior? Or was it his choice to be this type of person? I feel angry because I will not know my distant cousins until they want to know where they are from. I wish I could know why this happend and how could it have been avoided. I feel your sorrow and frustration with your family member. Just glad you and your mom are there to help these children that didnt have a choice. thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if this could be contributed to nature also. My cousin had a stable life up until she was about thirteen, then with the change in her family, our family, she started going down the wrong path. I am sorry that you will not know your cousins because of the choices that he made.
DeleteNot all young parents have the same difficulties as in the situations you both have experienced. I was also a young mother and I have always taken personal responsibility for the choices I have made. My observations have led me to believe that support systems or lack of support systems plays a large role in whether younger parents succeed or not. I am not just talking about family support which is a wonderful thing to have, but community support as well. It sounds to me like your families were very supportive in taking on raising these children when their parents were unable. I cannot speculate on what caused them to be unable to properly care for their children, but I do have similar experience having a sister with children who also has mental health issues and drug issues. My sister has been passed from one doctor to another and her drug issues have taken a backseat to her mental health issues. I truly believe that with the proper health care and drug rehabilitation, she would still have her 3 children today. 2 of them live with their father and the youngest was recently adopted by my cousin. I think lack of funding plays a large role in these issues but it certainly saddens me to see these individuals struggle with little help. Thank you both for sharing such personal and obviously life changing stories. I hope everything works out for the children and your families.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that a great support system will help with any situation. Especially in that of a young mother. Unfortunately she took that help forgranted and still chooses to not make the right decisions. I know she could be a good mother, and could have been a good mother from day one if she would have made the choice to do it. She hasnt successfully graduated each stage in life and is still selfish and only thinks of her needs.
DeleteWe need more young mothers like you and like my mom to stand up and show these young girls what it takes to be a good mom because I think a lot of them are coming from broken homes.
I think that having children at a young age would definitely be more of a challenge; one would have to grow up quickly. Each case is different though, and I've seen good and bad parents on both ends of the spectrum. Your cousin's situation is really unfortunate but at least the kids have someone like your mother who's willing to do the right thing. I hope everything gets resolved for your family. Thank you for sharing.
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